It's all good.

 But can I pat you on the head? That's usually how I try to give comfort and show the love I feel.

I know it's hard to talk to me. I have never been able to keep a straight face under any circumstance. I want and need the honesty. I've felt you pulling away from me for a long time and I feel helpless to change it. 

I know that you don't take the same kind of reassurance from physical contact that I do. My fear is not that you don't want to touch me, it's that you don't feel love toward me like you used to. 

Have I been a disappointment to you? I know you feel self conscious about how I feel toward you. I'm not sure what reassurance I can offer you. What pats can I give you so that you feel as loved as you are. I think of being your wife as the most important part of my life. I know it's not supposed to define me, but it is how I think of myself. That's why I don't feel lonely when I'm away, I usually feel like we are still sharing experiences if not our physical space. 

If your love for me has changed, that will be very hard for me to process, but if it's your truth, you deserve to put yourself first, and I want to say that while you can't look at me. Whatever you need from me, I'll do anything I can to give it to you. 

I'll be here in any capacity that you want from me without hesitation or regret. I am completely open and I want to respect your needs and boundaries. My love for you has gotten stronger over our years and experiences, not changed or weakened. Physically I have changed a lot over our years. Age, hormones and brain chemistry, but the love I feel for you will not change. It's who I am now. 

I want you to be who you truly are too and to feel the happiness you deserve in life. If you do know what will get you closer to that happiness, please be specific and direct with me. I feel most comfortable in our home when you are happy, inspired and yourself.