Venn Diagram

I think one of the reasons Satu and I work so well is that our worlds overlap where it's important, but have enough life outside of each other to always have something to share at the end of the day. Every time I think I am drawing a map of Satu's world in my mind, she opens a wardrobe, and there is new territory.

I don't think my world has unknown territory anymore. I am not a mystery to her at all. My world is kind of flat and sunny compared to her forest, water, fog, mountain world of an internal life. I think it's because of the way our brains work. In my mind, the sun only shines on one thing at a time, while in hers, she can roam many places at once. I think it builds valleys and mountains, different depths of thought all going on at once. 

The new places for me are always opening somewhere in the merged areas where we cross each other's boundaries. I think that territory is undefined and still growing because we still find things to explore. One thing I want for this new year is to bring into our shared world more new experiences. I feel like we survived last year by helping each other through, but this year I want to do more than survive. Even simple things like sitting in our garden together or wandering a local park adds to our shared world. 

When Satu was out of town last weekend, I noticed a difference in the way I end my days. When I am alone and winding down for the night, I usually feel restless. I always look for some distraction from real time. I escape into television, projects or sleep. I often don't even pay attention to those things, I let the time wash over me. When we are together though, even quietly curled up on the couch scrolling the news or watching TV, I don't feel like I'm escaping from the world. I feel like I am more myself when she's there with me. I enjoy hearing the sound of her footsteps upstairs. 

My favorite time of the day is when we sit together for morning coffee. When she's not home, I don't sit down with my coffee, I usually just take it with me while I putter from room to room. There's no experience being had in those moments, just routine maintenance on my own, well mapped territory. Even my experiences that we don't share like Aikido classes, or time I spend with friends feels better to me when Satu and I spend enough time in our shared world. My mind works better and feels calmer when she's around. I have more energy during classes, I notice things more and think more clearly when we can wake up together and fall asleep together at night. 

I am looking forward to going to Chicago with her in a couple of weeks because we will get the drive there and the drive back to just relax around each other. We will be in a new place to explore mapping out new areas together.