Dear Doctor,

Dear Doctor,

My girlfriend has the heart of a lion, but right now it is unpredictable.Please take her seriously.

 She knows her body and you can believe whatever she says. She will seem fearless, because she controls her emotions carefully, but she wouldn't be in your paper gown if she wasn't worried. Listen to her heartbeat and then listen to what she says. She is loved more than you can imagine and the world needs her in it.

Please don't wait for something to go really wrong before you care about her. I love her now and I want to tell her that every day. You may not understand how wonderful she is, but I assure you that you have never met someone with a stronger, more beautiful, loving heart. If she brings it to you, practice your craft as if her heart was your greatest work of art.

I know that Satu will be OK. She is young, healthy and unbelievably willful, but it doesn't keep me from worrying about her. I can not even imagine a different life than the one that we share together. I want to keep it full of happiness, laughter and the strong, rhythmic beating of both of our hearts.

Yep it's winter

My girlfriend knows how to deal with winter. She has boots, she has scarves and 4 wheel drive. She plans cozy meals and tea to keep us warm.

I however, feel completely lost. I don't know how many shirts are appropriate for 20 degree weather or in which order you should put them on. I just want to put my cold hands on her somewhere and snuggle up in our bed. 

I do have these awesome new wool slippers that she gave me for Christmas and a heated blanket that I think of as home base in the mornings. Because she is afraid of our pellet stove, Satu always turns the heat down at night, so when I get home in the mornings, the downstairs is frozen. The dogs have learned that they can sleep on the bed with Satu if they just wait for her to fall asleep first. The cat just curls up on the other side and everyone is happy. By the time I come to bed, I have to kick off two dogs and wrestle my girlfriend away from the cat, but she always heats me right up. 

When Satu sleeps, her body temperature goes up about 10 degrees. It happens almost as soon as she falls asleep, which is weird since she is always cold when she is awake. The main reason that I am glad that we ended up in Ohio is that I get more snuggle time than I would have gotten otherwise.

Yep, it's winter and our home is cozy warm.

Just thinking about how lucky I am

Right now my girlfriend is in Lawrence visiting her family and bringing home some delicious Freestate beer for us. I can't believe how lucky I am. Out of all the people Satu could be with, she chose me and continues to choose me every day. When I am difficult and clumsy she doesn't just throw me back to the wild, she's so gentle with my tender feelings.

There is nothing in the world more compelling than her kisses. She is playful, funny and so beautiful that I couldn't have dreamed up someone who captivates me more. After five years, I still daydream about the woman that I get to come home to. I don't know anyone in the world who has it this good.

Sleeping beauty

Finally we live together and we have a few precious hours a day together. It has been so long since I have opened my front door and really felt at home. Now I can come home to my own family even if my sweet girl is asleep because I have a very impractical work schedule. Third shift is not easy, but I am still happy to have this fresh new start with Satu in a new town. Today at work I met the new inspector that they hired. He left neuroscience research to work there. That is in addition to a NASA R&D engineer, a biochemist, an accountant and a variety of other folks with colorful backgrounds. I have put all my eggs in this one basket, but at least it is a colorful basket.
I can be happy working almost anywhere as long as it is not boring and overly full of drama, but my biggest hope is that Satu will make a better, more fulfilling life here for herself. As much as I love her and can't wait to come home to her every day, this whole thing will be a failure if she doesn't find some satisfaction in her life.
I think we all look for meaning in life and we all want to leave some kind of mark on the larger world. Satu especially feels a need to reach out, but she keeps reigning her hopes back in so that she can be responsible. She is a genius. The best parts of the world deserve her input and she deserves to feel at home in the world like I feel when I come home to her. I don't think that is as much about being famous or appreciated in the moment as it is about doing what you feel called to do. I hope that she will find something that engages her mind and inspires her. I hope I hope I hope my sleeping beauty will find a happy home here too.

Delicious and on fire!

Satu and I just had our first Thanksgiving together OUR house. We had invites from friends and family, but we elected to spend the day together and making delicious food. As is our cooking custom, we turned on a podcast and I chopped and washed things which Satu took and turned into a heavenly dinner. I can't believe that she knows how to take all these plain raw materials and turn them into something that tastes like love and home. She can taste a thing and know if it needs rum or cream or peppers.

Before I even woke up, Satu made a couscous salad and some wonderful bacon stuffed tomatoes. We made chicken and artichoke risotto, homemade green bean casserole and squash casserole too. Satu doesn't go for the cream of mushroom soup when she shops. She starts with cream and real mushrooms and individually cuts and dries each bean. When I woke up, they were all lined up on the counter like they were in a formation. Three podcasts later, we were snuggled up in our cozy living room, dogs at our feet sharing a real family meal.

Today, we had plenty of leftovers, but Satu added a special treat. She made acorn squash stuffed with yummy apples. When they were ready, she doused them with rum and set them on fire! Not only did it taste wonderful, but mine was shaped like a heart. A heart on fire, which is exactly how mine feels.

Party in the front

I just got this picture...

Party in the front, and the back. Then a funeral.

Mr. Bubble, Mr. Bubble.

Mr. Bubble got in trouble.

He got a little girlie

a bit too clean.

(I'm a dirty girly) Yes please.

cake

Cake, tic tacs and pocky. I love you.