Christmas for me is no longer about giving or receiving gifts. It's not about commerce, Jesus or pretty lights. It is only about hoping that I will see my beautiful wife smile. The best part of any day is when she takes me into her arms, or when she kisses me hello or when she pats my hand or laughs or sighs in a happy way. The best part of Christmas is that it is an excuse to pick out things that I think she will like to have. I always wish for a different way to remind her that she is the world to to me.
Things can never show someone how much you love them, but neither can words. I often wish that Satu could live in my body for one day just for the experience of feeling my chemicals. I wish she could feel my heart jump at the sound of her voice. I wish she could know what it feels like to have her comforting hand on me. I can only hope that my presence makes her feel the way she makes me feel.
I look forward to every day that I get to spend a whole day with her. I don't care what we are doing, I just like to be around her in our home. Satu is the only person I have ever been with in my life that I still feel like me around. As much as I wish I could be perfect for her, she makes me feel good about being my flawed, strange self. She loves me in spite of the fact that I leave doors open and have strange eating habits. She loves me enough that she moved in with me even though that means sharing a bathroom with someone who leaves hair on every nearby surface and squeezes the toothpaste from the middle.
I feel like I would love to extend this break forever. I've had 4 wonderful days off with my wife who is the only person I ever want to be around all the time. It makes going back to work tomorrow feel like the end of a wonderful dream. Being married to my beautiful wife is my fairy tale ending. She is my happily ever after and my forever and ever.
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