Free roaming dreamer

This quick post is just a note to tell you how cute you looked this morning in your deep sleep. It was too hot for me in the bedroom last night, so I slept in the front room that usually stays cooler. The dog goes where I go and smashed himself on my feet at the foot of the couch as soon as I was asleep and couldn't tell him no.
This morning when I came in to check on you, you were spread across the bed in a long question mark shape. You seemed more restful than I've seen you in months uncrowded by the dog and cat and wife. It made me laugh to think that you were probably dreaming about space.

For all time

I don't know how Satu knows things about me that I never even told her like a mantle clock is the coolest present I could get for our anniversary. As well as Satu knows me, I can't think of any reason that she would know that I wanted that kind of a clock. I don't recall ever remarking about how they make an old home like ours seem cozy or about how my grand dad had one that chimed and I always thought it was like a surprise song whenever it would chime. For me, there is only one right shape for a mantle clock, roughly the shape of the snake eating the elephant.

There are other shapes of course, but not for me, and some how Satu knew that. 

I imagine all the other things that I never mentioned that Satu knows. Given the following list of things I have never said, she would probably just say, "of course." there are no surprises here. 

If I said that my favorite book as a child was " The Little Engine that Could." she would just say,"Of course."

When grown ups asked me what I wanted to be, I'd always say a marine biologist because of Jaquees Custoe and my dad.

I was fascinated by barnicles

I thought martial arts was a viable career field.

I was so stressed out about my responsibility for keeping my sister safe that my compulsive behavior started there as a coping mechanism to keep my brain from worrying about everything that could happen to her.

I wanted pet lightning bugs sooooooo bad. 

The thing I was most ashamed of was accidentally making one of my classmates feel bad and being too embarrassed to apologize. 

Of course, I don't have that same kind of intuition about her , but here are some things I think I know. 

Satu's favorite book as a child is written in German and too sad to talk about. Ever again.

When Satu was asked what she wanted to be when she grew up, she always just said "Myself/ but a grown up me"

She was fascinated by everything. 

She thought "bad ass" was a viable career field, but if that didn't work, she could always fall back on  " brilliant."

She was so stressed out about her parents, that she just went on by herself and relied on no-one. 

She wanted pet everything, armadillos, raccoons, bats, beavers, hedgehogs, etc.

The thing she was most ashamed of was other people.

I never could have imagined that I would get to marry my best friend, who knows things about me that I have never even mentioned. She keeps me safe and protects me even when I don;t see that the world can be dangerous. She smooths down my worry and protects me from the world that could never see me the way that she does. And the clock now represents all of the happy moments we will spend together in the years to come.

Contradictions

My wife is surprising, curious and beyond a doubt she is her own person. Most people you can infer some things about them by knowing other traits, but not with Satu. She's impossible to predict. Here is a list of things I know about her that seem like they shouldn't exist in the same person. She is a little bit of everything.

Satu live tweets... she will not talk on a phone... ever... almost.

Early in out relationship, much stress was had over how badly we communicate on the phone. I need to see people's faces to understand what is going on, but Satu is verbal and can carry on two different conversations in two directions if she wants. She often will look at something on her phone and her laptop while watching tv. She will live tweet a scify show to strangers, but definitely won't talk on the phone, ever or answer the door, even for food or the police.

Satu is a catch, she knows that she's super hot and that she looks like a very fit 30 something. She's prettier than any woman I could imagine. She's nerdy-hot in a naughty, flirty way. Satu knows she's beautiful, but she also worries about the tiniest things. How can you think a few grey hairs matter when you have the perfect voice, the deepest, most mysterious eyes, the softest touch and a smile that makes you forget everything else in the world.

Satu is completely grounded. She suppresses excitement, sadness and all other emotions. Except when she laughs, she really does it. When she smiles at you, it's the only real thing in the world. When she sings, it makes me feel all of my feels and probably the neighbors feelings (hope they are having a good day.)

My wife is completely independent. At work she moves furniture that is twice her size and weight, but when it is time for me to bring her things, I will be doing that. I have a function, and that function is to make sure that she doesn't have to get her own popcicle.

Satu is the best person that i know, but she's also the best person that I know, the person that makes me feel most at home, the only one I feel at home with. She is the best person that I know. no buts, no exceptions. The only one for me.