A minus

My wife has lived her whole life without ever knowing her blood type. She has been through two surgeries and has a medical record the size of a dictionary, but it is missing the A,B and O pages, so she ordered a test to solve the mystery once and for all.

Satu is able to handle a lot of pain, but not a tiny ounce of blood escapes her without a fight. Her original plan was to wait until she hurt herself naturally and just gather the blood rolling down her leg or her arm. We waited until a shelf attacked her at work and she came home with a nasty scab to pick.

Unfortunately, the scab didn't produce enough blood to test, so I had to hold her hand down and stick her with the little needle as she protested and wiggled and turned green in her seat. Then we squeezed the blood out of her finger onto four little circles and watched for the formation of some blots. It was like looking for shapes in the cloud; You would think that you see a positive reading, or is that a horse or a turtle instead? When the blood dried, I compared the results to the key provided in the test and proclaimed her A negative. Satu was offended. She was sure that she had earned an A plus and the fact that I am A positive made her competitive. She was not going to accept the test results because she feels like her blood should be A+ or maybe some very very rare type that no one has ever heard of.
I think it is important to know your blood type in case you get shot by terrorists or fall off of a moving bus while trying to catch a fleeing villain as he disappears into the subway. When you get to the hospital, you want to be able to tell the bartender exactly what kind of pint you will have before you pass out. If you don't know your blood type, they may just fill you up with salad dressing or something. Who knows. So if something ever happens to my love, I will take her to the hospital and she will say that she doesn't know her blood type and I will tell them that she's A negative, just the rare strain of A negative. You know the type that makes you the most unique, most funny, positive and competitive and irrational kind of person in the world. And please bring the best doctor that you have, because if they can't make her well in 20 minutes, I am going to start losing my cool. and I am the type to draw blood.