Satu showed me pictures of dogs underwater when I felt like I was a tiny thing in the ocean. It helped. It amazes me how she can show me such understanding no matter how stormy her own ocean is. I wish I knew how to find the right thing for her when she feels overwhelmed.
I think we both struggle with uncertainty about how to make a meaningful and fulfilling life. Satu struggles more than I do though because she has a vision for her life that keeps getting set aside in order to do the responsible, grown up thing. I think I have always seen work as something that I do in order to pay bills so that I can live my life with her. I want to be good at what I do, but it doesn't define me. Satu is different because a bad work life is destroying her creative life and that erodes who she is and how she measures herself.
I think it is ok to quit when you don't want to be where you find yourself. In fact, I think sometimes you have to cut your losses in order to keep afloat. Quitting a job is not the same as giving up. To me, it doesn't matter how many times you start over in life as long as you are the kind of person who will start over and over and over. I have taken many steps backward and I don't know for sure that those choices were right, but I am inclined to believe that they were because they were right at the time. There is really no winning the bigger game. There are going to be good times and bad times if you are a millionaire or if you live pay check to pay check and no one is really measuring your success except you. Even people that you admire for what they have achieved are just people like the rest of us. They have proud moments and dark times and not everything they do is golden.
Satu is a good person when she is happy, but she is also a good person when she is struggling and that, more than anything, is why I think that she hung the moon. She keeps trying.
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