Youtube is a mood altering drug

Yesterday I had to work late. Probably you have no idea how many nut channels a downstream fan case has or how long it takes to check the running torque of them all, but I can tell you that it is more than you think. It takes longer than you think and it took me longer than I thought. It is pretty typical for me to mis-underestimate the timeline for everything that I do. That is because when I am doing something, that is the only thing in my brain, so it seems like time doesn't matter.
Time does matter.
Time matters to Satu who looks forward to our time to reconnect on Saturday nights. This is usually our watch dumb TV, eat take out Indian food and laugh until we have to hold eachother's sides. But not last night. Last night when I finally dragged my ass home at 9pm empty handed, the mood was officially dead. The fire had burned out and so had the candles that she had lit 3 hours earlier when I was supposed to be home. In fact, the only thing smoldering when I got home was her temper.
We ate pizza in near silence and as a token of forgiveness she brought me a dove chocolate which made me feel hopeful, but it was still to early to get over my hugely disappointing tardiness.
It wasn't until we were curled up in bed that I remembered what an instantaneously happy thing it could be to pull up some youtube videos and just laugh together.
Yep, that did the trick. Thank god for short legged Japanese cats and dogs swimming in the air. Youtube saved the night and we curled up holding eachother's sides.

The droids are back!!!!

And they are up to their old tricks.

I am pleased to report that the droids, who must have been scared into hiding by the move have finally come out and started to explore their world.
They were inspired by a little heart picture I drew on my hand. I guess they wanted to have their own heart and were willing to try to take one from our kitchen statue which we have named toxic clocks-a-lot.

It seems that they underestimated toxic clocks-a-lot and didn't make much of a plan. Consequently...

He guards his heart like my sweet girlfriend guards my tender heart. 

Fortunately, these mischievous little fellows never let their spirits fall. The very next day Satu found them trying to shave our cat!

When Satu interrupted the ambush they tried to make a quick get away. I guess they thought that she was upset about the razor, not the cat because they tried to return it hastily.     

               

Then they tucked themselves away in their cozy hiding place. I can't wait until they come back out to make another ruckus. I love them sooooo much and I am really glad they have come back out. 

Ebola pantry, rape whistles and foggy glasses

As with any close family, Satu and I are building that kind of history that leads to new language and quirks. Outsiders would most likely turn this show off in a few minutes, but to us we are a hilarious sitcom. We now have an Ebola pantry in the basement because I am scared of illness and the recent Ebola outbreak, no matter how distant flips my shit from time to time. Satu stocked away some dry goods so that while the rest of the world is living out scenes from "The Stand" we can eat oreos and cous cous. Whenever we run out of some staple, it can now be found in the ebola pantry.

Last night while we were in the Barnes ad Noble, we saw that among their Christmas gift offerings was a genuine US Army survival kit. It included a cheap compass, canteen, some manner of handbook (probably titled hooah) and some other child sized military nick knacks. I remarked that there was no Marine Corps survival kit which I am sure simply contains a flask and a rape whistle. The rape whistle of course doesn't work, when you blow into it it just titters yoo-hoo. Clearly there is not much funnier than an off color rape joke, especially if it has some background in your bitter military experience. We have been giggling and shouting yoo hoo at each other all night.

Then there is this little off hand comment that struck me so funny I had to kneel down on the sidewalk. Satu and I were out walking out dogs one evening she was wearing a cute little hat and her usual petite, well cut jacket and I was wearing a stocking cap with a little ball on the top. Gosh she says, I hope we don't seem like thugs, do we look like trouble? No, I assured her that we were probably not going to be targets for a drive by while we are out walking two fat dogs. "Well", she said "I sure hope I don't have to cut a bitch because my glasses are all fogged." This is probably the funniest thing I have ever heard her say. I giggle about it all the time partly because she is such a tiny, proper sweet little thing, and partly because I know that absolutely, without a doubt she will cut a bitch if she has to.

You've been hit by.. you've been struck by... Cold Genitals.

Since moving into our new place here in the city, we have given up our tiny little back yard and have had to walk our poor little dogs several times a day. This time of year that means getting all bundled up and skiing behind Gimmie in hot pursuit of squirrels and bunnies. He apparently hates small furry animals. There can be only one!

My idea of bundling up involves putting a sweatshirt over whatever I slept in and finding dry shoes. Satu on the other hand has a process. There are layers that have to go on in a certain order. Sweatpants will never do. There is a scarf wrapping process so elaborate, it must have its roots in some ancient Japanese ceremony and there are choices to be made concerning hats. Usually the dogs and I wait at the back door for a few minutes getting acclimated to the freeze and tangling and untangling ourselves while the process wraps up.

I did not know that sometimes layering involves the construction of an extra warm layer called the vagina guard. Satu explained that the key to a warm heart is a warm hoo hoo and belted out a chorus of her new theme song. You've been hit by... you've been struck by... cold genitals. We laughed and laughed all the way around the block with our untrained, poorly behaved, but very sweet dogs singing that classic Michael Jackson tune and holding each other up.

Winter has come way too early this year. We still have warm weather projects to finish and I am a slow study with the fireplace. Satu however can coax a roaring fire out of ashes that have been sitting overnight. I honestly think that she just wills fire into being. She is trying her best to keep me warm though and I can honestly say that her embrace is the warmest place in the world. There is no where in the world that I would rather be.

Never not funny

My girlfriend has an uncanny ability to take any situation and find the dark humor somewhere within it. I find everything about her amusing even, unfortunately, her anger. Don't get me wrong, it is scary when a little fireball like Satu gets angry, but it is also hilarious to see a 100 pound woman stomp as if she was any ogre or raise both her eyebrows into a withering, soul burning, piercing stare.

This has been a very busy week, When Satu hasn't been up early to let the floor guys into the house, I have been up late having unreasonable panic attacks. One of the things I look forward to the most is the little moments when she looks at me lovingly and strips down to her socks and moon walks.  Those are the moments that I know are just for me, but make me so proud to be with the most wonderful, sexy, beautiful, funny, sweet, loving woman in the world.

It's been too long

It has been three busy months since I last wrote about my happy little family. In that time our little house has started to become the house of my dreams. Satu sold the Atlanta home and set about making a new little nest for us. She is like the most dedicated little birdy in this regard.Shiny things arrive and become part of our dream while things that don't fit us anymore get thoughtfully set aside. She has been working so hard to get the floors ready and to make the space uniquely ours.

Here I am eating the world in my grungy work clothes with my witch hair. I am so happy!

A couple of weeks ago, Satu and I were out looking for curtains when I stumbled on a beautiful dresser in the store. It was blue with inlaid shells. I kind of casually mentioned how much I liked it, but didn't consider it seriously because it was really expensive. Satu went back the next day and bought it. The next time I went to the new house with her, it was there in the bedroom. When I saw it I think I squealed with surprise and happiness. What a wonderful, perfect present. It was so thoughtful and sweet of her to get it for me. She really does listen and care for me and I can tell that she truly wants me to be happy just like I want to make her happy.

Satu is a true partner in every way. She shares her laughter and also her fears with me. It is something that I think is very rare and special. If there is one person in the world who has probably never, ever in her whole life committed the crime of over-share it is my sweet little song bird, yet she is honest and unguarded with me. I always feel close to her in a way that I have never felt before.

Right now she is sleeping peacefully beside me. She is always bone tired because she works so hard. Everything she does, she works hard at, not just the house, or our family, but all of the details of life. I have never met a harder working, more earnest, more sweet or a more kind person than she. Our house will be full of laughter, music, happiness and love as long as she is in it. But then, Satu could make a woodshed feel like a wonderful place to come home to.

Houses, paperwork and summer colds

Today should be a great day for me and Satu, we just closed on a house. Unlike most lesbians, who generally shack up within days of their first flirt, Satu and I waited over five years. It's not that we didn't love each other, or want to live together, we were just never able to do it until now. Now we are moving out of our rental into a home of our own that we can make ours in a way that we have never been able to before.

Here is the new place from the outside. It has had some landscaping done since, but still pretty much the same. Most of the houses in the neighborhood are similar. We opted for the good neighborhood with very high taxes and good schools so that we could hopefully find an established and friendly community of people like us.

So, as you can see by the pictures, we should be spending tonight celebrating our awesome new house in an awesome new neighborhood where we are going to make lots of friends and have a happy life with our strange little family of animals. Instead, we are in bed blowing our noses on toilet paper and toasting with nyquil.

This is what is causing Satu to feel miserable and to hate me a little for bringing into our home. It's also in our ears, chests and throats. Right now it is probably fucking up our credit scores too. It is that bad.

We have made it through this whole process, the paperwork that never ends, the hemorrhaging of money and personal information. Through it all, Satu has been her usual, worried yet optimistic hard working, level headed self. We should be toasting to her and shopping for tile, but I guess it will have to wait until next week.

Here are some major differences between how Satu handles illness and how I handle it.

1. As long as I am not nauseous, I think it can't be that bad.
    Satu can handle nausea without losing her cool, but she worries about odd things like arm tingling and flesh eating bacteria.

2. When I am sick, Satu feels sorry for me and does sweet things like makes soup and feels my forehead empathetically.
     When Satu is sick, I do my best, but mostly I pace, worry and check in on her from the doorway like a child.

3. Satu heals patiently, suffering with perfect poise.
    I sneeze and whine about it to the dogs and strangers. Little known fact, infirmity also loves company.

I hope that by next Friday we both feel better and can raise a toast properly in our new house. For now, we'll just curl up here and try not to let our germs mingle.