I haven't written in a couple of months, not because I haven't had anything to write about, but because there was so much going on that I couldn't figure out how to start. Satu and I are moving to Mentor, Ohio. I got a job there and because I am the luckiest woman in the world, Satu encouraged me to take it and has turned her life upside down to come with me and start a new life. A very, very cold new life in which we will weather the storms with warm hearts and a lot of laughter. It is a scary time for us both. Every day has been full of mistakes, unintended consequences and poorly laid plans, but also full of laughter and teamwork.
Here is a list of why I know we will make it.
1. After a long day of moving boxes and making stressful phone calls Satu offered to make us a relaxing dinner and watch a movie with me. All I had to do was go fill the growler and come home to watch netflix on a pile of blankets on the floor. Sounds fun! I went for the beer and on the way back I hit the brakes too hard and dumped the whole growler in her car. When I got home, she just turned off the stove and came out with a sponge and soap. We still watched a movie and she still kissed me goodnight.
2. Day two of packing was really just the end of day one with a nap in the middle. Satu went to get her back adjusted and while she was out, I broke a lamp that she has had for years (and years.) She came home in pain and the lost lamp made her mad, but she still made sure I knew that she loved me more than the lamp.
3. When I woke up having a panic attack, Satu got up from our floor bed, put her hand on my knee and asked if she could read to me from the botany book I have been enjoying.
4.She's asleep next to me right now because after all the times she's seen me fail, she knows that I will keep her safe no matter what and she feels better sleeping next to me.
5. After a very hard couple of weeks and almost no sleep we can still laugh ourselves to tears just by dancing like lesbians.
5. We've been together for five years and she still tickles my knees just because she likes to hear me laugh.
6. The best times of my life are ordinary moments shared with her.
Sunday, October 13, 2013
Sunday, August 25, 2013
Saving my dumb ass from a brain infection
So this past week for me has been all percocet, cream of wheat and and an incredible amount of antibiotics. Oh yeah, also the screaming, pain and Satu, the angel of compassion, taking care of me through the whole thing.
Last Wednesday I went to the dentist on base because my teeth felt like they were exploding in my mouth. I have been blessed with teeth that are about the hardness of soap and they have been slowly dissolving all of my life no matter how much I floss or brush or try to exercise them by holding metal flashlights in my mouth. The dentist peered in zeroed in on my last remaining wisdom tooth which has been just floating there sideways, half-submerged for all of my adult life like a capsized sailboat abandoned in the marsh. It has never been a problem, nor has it been useful, but he figured that pulling it would solve my problem. He pulled the tooth and then for whatever stupid reason refused to let me have it. This was disappointing for Satu since she loves teeth and especially likes the ones with nice big roots like molars and wisdom teeth. He told me to go home and take advil.
I spent Wednesday night hanging my head off the side of the bed and pulling on all of my teeth with strands of dental floss to try and find a less painful position. On Thursday I returned to dental sick call where a parade of doctors looked in my mouth and discussed what could be wrong. There were a lot of differing opinions, but in the subtext they all boiled down to how much of a wuss I must be if a little extraction and gum irritation was causing me to act like I'm dying. They gave me pain killers and some mild antibiotics in case it was a sinus infection and sent me home for the three day weekend.
Friday was not a fun day, but percocet has a way of making you not care too much. I woke up only long enough to wear myself back down again by hiking the 40 or so feet to the bathroom or the kitchen for more drugs.
On Saturday when I woke, I discovered that someone had implanted a golf ball in my hard pallet overnight. Had I pissed off a tooth fairy or something? The pain was pretty intense and it caused me to be a mouth breather too which actually makes me feel dumb, so there's insult to injury. Since the dentist had given me an emergency number, I gave it a call at the insistence of my sweet neighbor Sharon who had been checking in on me and feeling my forehead periodically for signs that I might transmogrify into a zombie or a vampire or something. The number led to a useless voice mailbox that asked me to dial my party's extension and then hung up on me.
The golf ball and my cheek swelled up with a nasty infection. I took refuge in tapioca pudding and drugs and waited it out until Satu drove up to see me on Sunday night. I had been spending my conscious moments peering in the mirror with a flashlight, so I knew that things were getting scary in there, but when Satu gave it a look, she instantly turned green and shut her eyes. She has described it as something that she will never un-see. Then she patted me lovingly until I slipped back into sleep. I believe I dreamed about sidewalks. I remember looking for the places where grass was growing in the cracks and bending down to smell the weeds. Weird, even for me.
On Monday I went to the dentist and Satu worried at my house waiting for me. That visit is so far the most painful experience of my life. The doc narrowed the problem down to the tooth next to the now excavated wisdom tooth and began a root canal. If you have ever smelled roadkill left in a small, enclosed, dank space you will get the idea of what that was like. When the work was done, I sat up and the pain washed over me causing me to break into a sweat and complain to the doctor. "Please fix this." I begged. "It still hurts like..." I couldn't think of anything that was painful enough to describe it. He put me back in the chair and then showed me what real pain is like. I got a shot right in the golf ball and then there was a lot of draining and squeezing and screaming. When it was over, I returned home to catch Satu leaving for work. She stopped and came in to worry over me and feel my head and panic a little while I fell asleep.
That evening Satu made the 2 hour drive back to my house where she and my neighbor Sharon met to talk about me while I was sniffing grass in my drug fueled dreams. She told me yesterday that they discussed brain infection, blood poisoning and the massive infection that I was not at all taking seriously enough. They both knew that I could be seriously ill from the infection, but I irrationally believe that as long as I am not throwing up, then things are really not that bad. There is nothing scarier to me than nausea and all other maladies are rated in an unrealistic comparison with the stomach flu being a 100 and a broken leg being somewhere around 3 or 4 I suppose.
Satu helped make sure I took my medicine and could still think. On Tuesday when the golf ball was back and I looked like a chipmunk, Satu was the one to drive me out to a real civilian dentist who would drain and squeeze my face much more gently and then redo the root canal for me. She prescribed me enough antibiotics to kill a lesser mortal, and Satu took me home to put cold compresses on my face and keep my spirits up. She called out from work and bought me soft food and kept making sure I ate enough to get medicine in me.
I am pretty sure Satu spent the time while I was sleeping scaring herself on the internet by reading stories of people who died from mouth infections. She kept reaching over to touch my arm and my forehead gently I guess to reassure us both. She intentionally didn't tell me how bad the infection could be, Satu was maintaining a monopoly on fear for my own good and I was maintaining my monopoly on ignorance.
Now that I am feeling better and my golf ball is gone, we are having a lazy day together. I am a pretty simple organism that might have expired if she had not been there to take things seriously. I am so thankful that she cared for me and loves me and helped me recover. I honestly don't think I would be doing so well without her and I certainly wouldn't be as happy.
Last Wednesday I went to the dentist on base because my teeth felt like they were exploding in my mouth. I have been blessed with teeth that are about the hardness of soap and they have been slowly dissolving all of my life no matter how much I floss or brush or try to exercise them by holding metal flashlights in my mouth. The dentist peered in zeroed in on my last remaining wisdom tooth which has been just floating there sideways, half-submerged for all of my adult life like a capsized sailboat abandoned in the marsh. It has never been a problem, nor has it been useful, but he figured that pulling it would solve my problem. He pulled the tooth and then for whatever stupid reason refused to let me have it. This was disappointing for Satu since she loves teeth and especially likes the ones with nice big roots like molars and wisdom teeth. He told me to go home and take advil.
I spent Wednesday night hanging my head off the side of the bed and pulling on all of my teeth with strands of dental floss to try and find a less painful position. On Thursday I returned to dental sick call where a parade of doctors looked in my mouth and discussed what could be wrong. There were a lot of differing opinions, but in the subtext they all boiled down to how much of a wuss I must be if a little extraction and gum irritation was causing me to act like I'm dying. They gave me pain killers and some mild antibiotics in case it was a sinus infection and sent me home for the three day weekend.
Friday was not a fun day, but percocet has a way of making you not care too much. I woke up only long enough to wear myself back down again by hiking the 40 or so feet to the bathroom or the kitchen for more drugs.
On Saturday when I woke, I discovered that someone had implanted a golf ball in my hard pallet overnight. Had I pissed off a tooth fairy or something? The pain was pretty intense and it caused me to be a mouth breather too which actually makes me feel dumb, so there's insult to injury. Since the dentist had given me an emergency number, I gave it a call at the insistence of my sweet neighbor Sharon who had been checking in on me and feeling my forehead periodically for signs that I might transmogrify into a zombie or a vampire or something. The number led to a useless voice mailbox that asked me to dial my party's extension and then hung up on me.
The golf ball and my cheek swelled up with a nasty infection. I took refuge in tapioca pudding and drugs and waited it out until Satu drove up to see me on Sunday night. I had been spending my conscious moments peering in the mirror with a flashlight, so I knew that things were getting scary in there, but when Satu gave it a look, she instantly turned green and shut her eyes. She has described it as something that she will never un-see. Then she patted me lovingly until I slipped back into sleep. I believe I dreamed about sidewalks. I remember looking for the places where grass was growing in the cracks and bending down to smell the weeds. Weird, even for me.
On Monday I went to the dentist and Satu worried at my house waiting for me. That visit is so far the most painful experience of my life. The doc narrowed the problem down to the tooth next to the now excavated wisdom tooth and began a root canal. If you have ever smelled roadkill left in a small, enclosed, dank space you will get the idea of what that was like. When the work was done, I sat up and the pain washed over me causing me to break into a sweat and complain to the doctor. "Please fix this." I begged. "It still hurts like..." I couldn't think of anything that was painful enough to describe it. He put me back in the chair and then showed me what real pain is like. I got a shot right in the golf ball and then there was a lot of draining and squeezing and screaming. When it was over, I returned home to catch Satu leaving for work. She stopped and came in to worry over me and feel my head and panic a little while I fell asleep.
That evening Satu made the 2 hour drive back to my house where she and my neighbor Sharon met to talk about me while I was sniffing grass in my drug fueled dreams. She told me yesterday that they discussed brain infection, blood poisoning and the massive infection that I was not at all taking seriously enough. They both knew that I could be seriously ill from the infection, but I irrationally believe that as long as I am not throwing up, then things are really not that bad. There is nothing scarier to me than nausea and all other maladies are rated in an unrealistic comparison with the stomach flu being a 100 and a broken leg being somewhere around 3 or 4 I suppose.
Satu helped make sure I took my medicine and could still think. On Tuesday when the golf ball was back and I looked like a chipmunk, Satu was the one to drive me out to a real civilian dentist who would drain and squeeze my face much more gently and then redo the root canal for me. She prescribed me enough antibiotics to kill a lesser mortal, and Satu took me home to put cold compresses on my face and keep my spirits up. She called out from work and bought me soft food and kept making sure I ate enough to get medicine in me.
I am pretty sure Satu spent the time while I was sleeping scaring herself on the internet by reading stories of people who died from mouth infections. She kept reaching over to touch my arm and my forehead gently I guess to reassure us both. She intentionally didn't tell me how bad the infection could be, Satu was maintaining a monopoly on fear for my own good and I was maintaining my monopoly on ignorance.
Now that I am feeling better and my golf ball is gone, we are having a lazy day together. I am a pretty simple organism that might have expired if she had not been there to take things seriously. I am so thankful that she cared for me and loves me and helped me recover. I honestly don't think I would be doing so well without her and I certainly wouldn't be as happy.
Thursday, August 15, 2013
I want to fuss with my cigars
I am a woman who loves a project, but I love them the way I love chocolate cake, sometimes it's all I can think about but when it comes down to the eating, who ever finishes a cake? You have a slice, sometimes two and then you call for backup. In fact, what I enjoy the most is the daydreaming. The standing in the grocery store looking at all the frosting possibilities. Then sometimes I just eat the frosting with a spoon. Screw all the baking.
When Satu however, decides to make a cake, she researches cake and blogs about it a couple of times and spends a lot of time finding the perfect pan. This is a long way to go for an analogy that is actually about cigars and projects, but you get the point. She sees things through and she does them right.
This is a spreadsheet for cigars. Satu doesn't use excel, or she didn't until the humidor project. She's learning it so she can complete her plans. She is thorough and focused. Fucking pictures even! Just wow!
The humidor was a TV stand in the bedroom. I just never noticed it beyond knowing it was a thing that was in the bedroom that I understood to be a threat to my bare toes. Now, five years after my first invitation into Satu's bedroom (hallelujah! and amen!), I know it to be an antique humidor. Satu is restoring it to it's original purpose slowly and carefully. I think it's absolutely amazing that she knows how to do these kinds of things. She definitely is a friend to objects as much as she is to animals. It looks great so far and now that I know what it is I am super happy that I will get to live with it for real one day soon. Also, no matter how many times I crush my toes on it in the middle of the night, it will never beat the time I went ass over teakettle on the baby gate.
One of the things that has delighted me most is that while I was googling I want a thunder shirt for people one day (don't judge me) google's helpful suggestion of queries past volunteered in purple text "I want to fuss with my cigars." I imagine Satu on my computer wondering how to look at the humidity level as much as she would like without messing up the process. In exasperation, I'm sure she typed in the phrase and then erased the exclamation point thinking it would throw off the search.
When I asked her about the results, she said that people seem to want to fuss with a lot of things, or they don't know what the fuss is about with this cigar or that one, but she is the only one who wants to fuss with her cigars. Well at least she is the only one that talked to Google about it. This is just one of those little things that happens all the time that makes me so happy that Satu and I found each other.
Dear Google, I want to fuss with my girlfriend!
When Satu however, decides to make a cake, she researches cake and blogs about it a couple of times and spends a lot of time finding the perfect pan. This is a long way to go for an analogy that is actually about cigars and projects, but you get the point. She sees things through and she does them right.
This is a spreadsheet for cigars. Satu doesn't use excel, or she didn't until the humidor project. She's learning it so she can complete her plans. She is thorough and focused. Fucking pictures even! Just wow!
The humidor was a TV stand in the bedroom. I just never noticed it beyond knowing it was a thing that was in the bedroom that I understood to be a threat to my bare toes. Now, five years after my first invitation into Satu's bedroom (hallelujah! and amen!), I know it to be an antique humidor. Satu is restoring it to it's original purpose slowly and carefully. I think it's absolutely amazing that she knows how to do these kinds of things. She definitely is a friend to objects as much as she is to animals. It looks great so far and now that I know what it is I am super happy that I will get to live with it for real one day soon. Also, no matter how many times I crush my toes on it in the middle of the night, it will never beat the time I went ass over teakettle on the baby gate.
One of the things that has delighted me most is that while I was googling I want a thunder shirt for people one day (don't judge me) google's helpful suggestion of queries past volunteered in purple text "I want to fuss with my cigars." I imagine Satu on my computer wondering how to look at the humidity level as much as she would like without messing up the process. In exasperation, I'm sure she typed in the phrase and then erased the exclamation point thinking it would throw off the search.
When I asked her about the results, she said that people seem to want to fuss with a lot of things, or they don't know what the fuss is about with this cigar or that one, but she is the only one who wants to fuss with her cigars. Well at least she is the only one that talked to Google about it. This is just one of those little things that happens all the time that makes me so happy that Satu and I found each other.
Dear Google, I want to fuss with my girlfriend!
Thursday, July 25, 2013
A life filled with curious things
One of the things that I love about Satu is her curiosity. She is interested in everything which is great because so am I! When there is a mole running across the driveway, we will chase it together. When there is a frog on the front porch, I can count on her to wake me up at 1am to go check it out, and when she finds a beautiful little bird egg, well,
I might come home to find it waiting by the sink ready to delight me. Satu shares. Not just with me, but with everyone. She believes in the experience of life. She encourages Josie to smell the coffee and gives the dogs olives because they should have the experience.
When I came home and found the egg, I must admit that my first thought was...
When I came home and found the egg, I must admit that my first thought was...
which is a little greeting card I bought a while ago. I bought it because I am excited about moving in with Satu in the next few months and I thought it would be perfect to break the stress bubble some time when we are both neck deep in boxes and can't find the dogs under all the bubble wrap and newsprint. Unfortunately, I haven't even started to pack and I've already lost the card.
The thing is, I am so excited to see what our lives together will be like. We've been together for five years, but my job has kept us from being able to have all those wonderful little moments together, like when you discover a bird's nest or learn a new word. Every time I have a moment like that, Satu is the first one I want to share it with. I want her to laugh at the funny moments in my life and I want to hear about her day when she comes home to me. I want to always find eggs by the sink and feathers in the den and get pictures of lizards during my work day because a life shared is a fuller and better life.
Wednesday, July 24, 2013
BIRTHDAY GOODIES!!!!
!!!!!!! That's not nearly enough exclamation points to explain what a wonderful job my sweet girl did selecting birthday presents for me. I know I am supposed to stop here and comment about how it's not the presents that count and I would be happy just getting a card or something because I know she loves me. Ok. whatever. SHE KNOCKED IT OUT OF THE PARK and it's how well she knows me that confirms how much she loves me. The prezzies were perfect and they are a great example of just what a thoughtful, supportive, loving, understanding girlfriend I have. She just knows me like no one else could and she listens even to what I don't say.
Exibit 1:
First off she did get me two cards. One for books and one just for my ego. The gift card is because I didn't realize that the Jeanette Winterson book I had asked for wasn't even out yet and even if it had been, I am in love with my kindle and might not be able to read regular font any more at my advanced age. The birthday card just made my chest fill up with pride and hope. I know that I am not ugly, but I am no longer what I once was so I worry all the time that I will disappoint Satu or embarrass her. When she says that she thinks that I am pretty, it makes me feel good to know that I am enough for her. It really does make me feel like I am good enough for the first time in my life.
Exibit 2:
Fire. Ok. Here's why these are so perfect. Months ago Satu bought me a bamboo candle to help me start a good calm down ritual. Nights have been hard since I have been having some panic attacks, but she makes a huge effort to make tea with me and keep it light around bed time. The candle really helped, so she went back the next day and bought two more to save for when the one she gave me ran out. She has been saving them for me for months along with the lovely fig one in the background that smells like happiness and true love.
Exibit 3:
On the left is an awesome post it note tray because I have gone back to school and now most vertical surfaces in my house have at least one post it note on them. Satu has been nothing but supportive about school and has found all kinds of ways to help from editing really boring papers to avoiding the tv when I am studying so that I stay focused. The pencil she gave me is exactly like the one I "borrowed" from her last month. I found it too wonderful to return and when she saw my reluctance to give it back, did she throw a tantrum? No. She gave it to me even though she is a woman who is very fond of her office supplies. Those little bones are erasers. Cool huh? I think of voodoo when I use them and say a little rhyme to help me pass my tests.
"The marks that were, now are not.
Come now the answer that I forgot."
Exibit 4:
Alas, poor Yorick!
He was a puzzle in about a billion little clear pieces, but Satu helped me get him together. By that I mean that she thoughtfully and methodically pieced this object together while I picked up one piece at a time and tried to jam it into whatever piece I was holding. I had a few wins merely by accident, but this was mostly her. Mad props to you my girl.
He looks great with his shot glass buddies and his vodka bottle daddy.
Exibit 5:
Ok, so this is it, this is the one that blew my mind. Every thing in here was selected just for me and it was like the birthday present that you could just keep exploring. Soooo awesome!!
This whole thing is an awesome toolbox for my bits and pieces that I am currently storing in little mugs and jars and bags. I am a bit of a shade tree inventor and I am always messing around with some hair-brained thing or another and all of my hair brained things require assortments of odds and ends. This box is absolutely perfect.
Inside, there were 30 sections all full of stuff!! Stuff for me!!!
1, 6 and 11. Gum and mints for my filthy mouth. It won't clean up my mind, but at least it will make me kissable and minty fresh. Let me just take a moment and think about Satu's sweet kisses.
2,7 and 12. Razors for my never-ending war on hair. Practical is perfect in my book. I like that Satu will get me some of the things that I just hate to buy for myself.
3,8 and 13. Eye shadow. 14. Eye shaddow brushes? swabs? applicators? Specifically, these are colors that Satu picked out carefully for me when I had a winning experience in her make-up bag. I am kind of an awkward girl and though I long to be a pretty, girly girl some times, I missed all that stuff when I was growing up. When I was supposed to be learning how to put on makeup, I was catching frogs and playing with my chemistry set. Therefore, I have never worn any color of eye shaddow except brown because I have brown eyes and I don't know the rules. One day I tried a color that was in Satu's make up bag that she left at my house. She not only noticed, but she took notes when I told her how it made me feel pretty, but a little self conscious and she selected these colors for me. She told me that they would all look good on me and that I didn't have to worry. I have worn two of them so far and I am trying to learn the rules.
5, 9, 10 and 15. Eraser and voodoo erasers. Just because they are cool.
14 and 17. School supplies including these awesome rounded little clips so you can clip things together and then hang them on push pins and things. Currently there is one on the dog.
16. There were post it notes in here I think, but they are already in use on many of the vertical surfaces in my home.
18. There were some Dove chocolates in here, but they were too yummy and I had to eat them immediately.
19. A beautiful bracelet that looks great on me and will go with my new interview outfits that Satu helped me get.
20 and 23. Three pair of really stunning earrings that make me feel really fancy. One of them matches the bracelet colors.
21 and 25. Good smelling face mud. It is a special treat to have this refreshing stuff to make your face feel young and tingly. I like to put it on my face and light a candle and watch videos of kittens and things on you tube. It makes me feel like everything is going to be ok.
22. Q tips and stain erasers for the traveling I am doing to try to find a new job (and also because I can't walk through a room without getting a stain on my clothes.)
24. Ducky pins! Just delightful.
26. These are curious little blotting thingies that make your face less shiney. Who knew there was such a thing? Well, of course Satu knew, but this just floored me. Really, do most girls know about these things? Awesome!
27. Two really gorgeous bracelets that are silver links with just a touch of gold. They look great on my skin and have a classic, but kind of mechanical look to them. Hard to explain, but just lovely to wear.
28. Star Wars angry birds pop rocks! You betcha.
29. More post it notes in regular lemon and some in lime!
30. Travel deoderant and some germ killer to make my hands feel fresh.
Exibit 6:
And then this blew me away. The sentiment couldn't be more perfect for me. This is the kind of thing that makes me know that Satu really knows my heart.
I am such a lucky woman to have found Satu and I hope I spend the rest of my birthdays with her.
Exibit 1:
First off she did get me two cards. One for books and one just for my ego. The gift card is because I didn't realize that the Jeanette Winterson book I had asked for wasn't even out yet and even if it had been, I am in love with my kindle and might not be able to read regular font any more at my advanced age. The birthday card just made my chest fill up with pride and hope. I know that I am not ugly, but I am no longer what I once was so I worry all the time that I will disappoint Satu or embarrass her. When she says that she thinks that I am pretty, it makes me feel good to know that I am enough for her. It really does make me feel like I am good enough for the first time in my life.
Exibit 2:
Fire. Ok. Here's why these are so perfect. Months ago Satu bought me a bamboo candle to help me start a good calm down ritual. Nights have been hard since I have been having some panic attacks, but she makes a huge effort to make tea with me and keep it light around bed time. The candle really helped, so she went back the next day and bought two more to save for when the one she gave me ran out. She has been saving them for me for months along with the lovely fig one in the background that smells like happiness and true love.
Exibit 3:
On the left is an awesome post it note tray because I have gone back to school and now most vertical surfaces in my house have at least one post it note on them. Satu has been nothing but supportive about school and has found all kinds of ways to help from editing really boring papers to avoiding the tv when I am studying so that I stay focused. The pencil she gave me is exactly like the one I "borrowed" from her last month. I found it too wonderful to return and when she saw my reluctance to give it back, did she throw a tantrum? No. She gave it to me even though she is a woman who is very fond of her office supplies. Those little bones are erasers. Cool huh? I think of voodoo when I use them and say a little rhyme to help me pass my tests.
"The marks that were, now are not.
Come now the answer that I forgot."
Exibit 4:
Alas, poor Yorick!
He was a puzzle in about a billion little clear pieces, but Satu helped me get him together. By that I mean that she thoughtfully and methodically pieced this object together while I picked up one piece at a time and tried to jam it into whatever piece I was holding. I had a few wins merely by accident, but this was mostly her. Mad props to you my girl.
He looks great with his shot glass buddies and his vodka bottle daddy.
Exibit 5:
Ok, so this is it, this is the one that blew my mind. Every thing in here was selected just for me and it was like the birthday present that you could just keep exploring. Soooo awesome!!
This whole thing is an awesome toolbox for my bits and pieces that I am currently storing in little mugs and jars and bags. I am a bit of a shade tree inventor and I am always messing around with some hair-brained thing or another and all of my hair brained things require assortments of odds and ends. This box is absolutely perfect.
Inside, there were 30 sections all full of stuff!! Stuff for me!!!
1, 6 and 11. Gum and mints for my filthy mouth. It won't clean up my mind, but at least it will make me kissable and minty fresh. Let me just take a moment and think about Satu's sweet kisses.
2,7 and 12. Razors for my never-ending war on hair. Practical is perfect in my book. I like that Satu will get me some of the things that I just hate to buy for myself.
3,8 and 13. Eye shadow. 14. Eye shaddow brushes? swabs? applicators? Specifically, these are colors that Satu picked out carefully for me when I had a winning experience in her make-up bag. I am kind of an awkward girl and though I long to be a pretty, girly girl some times, I missed all that stuff when I was growing up. When I was supposed to be learning how to put on makeup, I was catching frogs and playing with my chemistry set. Therefore, I have never worn any color of eye shaddow except brown because I have brown eyes and I don't know the rules. One day I tried a color that was in Satu's make up bag that she left at my house. She not only noticed, but she took notes when I told her how it made me feel pretty, but a little self conscious and she selected these colors for me. She told me that they would all look good on me and that I didn't have to worry. I have worn two of them so far and I am trying to learn the rules.
5, 9, 10 and 15. Eraser and voodoo erasers. Just because they are cool.
14 and 17. School supplies including these awesome rounded little clips so you can clip things together and then hang them on push pins and things. Currently there is one on the dog.
16. There were post it notes in here I think, but they are already in use on many of the vertical surfaces in my home.
18. There were some Dove chocolates in here, but they were too yummy and I had to eat them immediately.
19. A beautiful bracelet that looks great on me and will go with my new interview outfits that Satu helped me get.
20 and 23. Three pair of really stunning earrings that make me feel really fancy. One of them matches the bracelet colors.
21 and 25. Good smelling face mud. It is a special treat to have this refreshing stuff to make your face feel young and tingly. I like to put it on my face and light a candle and watch videos of kittens and things on you tube. It makes me feel like everything is going to be ok.
22. Q tips and stain erasers for the traveling I am doing to try to find a new job (and also because I can't walk through a room without getting a stain on my clothes.)
24. Ducky pins! Just delightful.
26. These are curious little blotting thingies that make your face less shiney. Who knew there was such a thing? Well, of course Satu knew, but this just floored me. Really, do most girls know about these things? Awesome!
27. Two really gorgeous bracelets that are silver links with just a touch of gold. They look great on my skin and have a classic, but kind of mechanical look to them. Hard to explain, but just lovely to wear.
28. Star Wars angry birds pop rocks! You betcha.
29. More post it notes in regular lemon and some in lime!
30. Travel deoderant and some germ killer to make my hands feel fresh.
Exibit 6:
And then this blew me away. The sentiment couldn't be more perfect for me. This is the kind of thing that makes me know that Satu really knows my heart.
I am such a lucky woman to have found Satu and I hope I spend the rest of my birthdays with her.
Thursday, July 11, 2013
Dogs and droids cannot be trusted
These little guys are almost always up to something. That's what I love about them. They have indomitable spirit. Satu of course is afraid that they will burn the house down, so she is always checking up on them. I know that she speaks droid. After all, it's not a hard language for someone who is fluent in crow and chipmunk to learn. The problem is that they just won't be told what to do. They are like people that way, they have to get into things.
See how they just stand there and nod while she tells them how dangerous matches are? You can tell they are just going to do it again. You just know, like you know that the dog will eat your cream cheese as soon as you leave the room. Dogs and droids cannot be trusted.
This morning Satu thought that she was catching them in the act of destroying the coffee table objects or some other equally mischievous deed. However, when she got downstairs...
It seems as if they were trying to tell her how six-e she looks in her pj's (they aren't great with English)
Or, maybe they wanted to wish me a happy 39th birthday. They are good with numbers.
Thursday, July 4, 2013
Things to remember in 5 years
I haven't posted in a while because I just spent some time in the desert without internet or phone access. My time at Camp Wilson can only be described as 90% hot and miserable, 5% windy and miserable, 2% cold showers with strangers, 1% boring brief about the endangered desert tortoise, .1% HOLY SHIT! IS THAT AN ICE CREAM TRUCK? and .9% Do you think the ice cream lady will come back?
So I have had some time to reflect on the little moments with Satu that make up our lives and since we are coming up on our 5th year together, I thought I would list a few of those moments. This way, in another 5 years, when I still can't remember if she is allergic to almonds or walnuts, we can both look back on this time and have some place to start.
Remember.
1. Satu's post for a dinner group started it all.
2. Brown pin striped pants made me late for work more than once.
3. Our first kiss was at the top of the stairs and Satu inexplicably said no right before she leaned in for the kiss. It was September 4th, 2008.
4. My color identification system has been mis-loaded.
5. Princess movies stop panic attacks and so do middle of the night car rides.
6. At this moment Satu is 43, she looks 33 and worries that her size 2 jeans are getting too tight.
7. The first time I came over to Satu's house I hid behind her dog for comfort. He was a good sport.
8. I listened over and over and over and over to the CD she made last Valentine's day.
9. Cookie! Poof.
10. I can fix it! Snap. Oh what do I do now!? freeze.
11. Satu has posted 70+ times on tumblr in the last 3 days about the hotness of Mary McDonnel.
12. Unium is the delicious wine that she got for my birthday because it has an eagle on the label.
13. Because of the already want to.
14. We went to Costa Rica where Satu got scuba scars on her feet and took pictures of plants and reptiles.
15. Last year we went to Key West where we had Cuban coffee and Satu took pictures of reptiles and plants and birds.
16. Satu leaves notes for me on my mirror.
17. I once left little notes in flowers.
18. Satu took me for a drag on the carpet on Christmas and it made me laugh like a child.
19. Shane Hylleberg had the happiest basement in the world.
20. Right now, neither of us can manage to keep food in the house because we don't do well living in separate places.
21. Fatty Happenstance has just learned to sit on laps.
22. Satu has peppermint trees on the kitchen table.
23. Lately we hang out at Lucky's because they have beer, dogs and battered artichokes, but we also like Seed because it has a horses neck with a kick.
24. Neither one of us knows what we are going to be doing in three months, but we will be doing it together at long last.
I wonder what we will be doing five years from now, and where we will live. My life with Satu is so much better than I ever would have guessed life could be. I can't wait to see what's next.
So I have had some time to reflect on the little moments with Satu that make up our lives and since we are coming up on our 5th year together, I thought I would list a few of those moments. This way, in another 5 years, when I still can't remember if she is allergic to almonds or walnuts, we can both look back on this time and have some place to start.
Remember.
1. Satu's post for a dinner group started it all.
2. Brown pin striped pants made me late for work more than once.
3. Our first kiss was at the top of the stairs and Satu inexplicably said no right before she leaned in for the kiss. It was September 4th, 2008.
4. My color identification system has been mis-loaded.
5. Princess movies stop panic attacks and so do middle of the night car rides.
6. At this moment Satu is 43, she looks 33 and worries that her size 2 jeans are getting too tight.
7. The first time I came over to Satu's house I hid behind her dog for comfort. He was a good sport.
8. I listened over and over and over and over to the CD she made last Valentine's day.
9. Cookie! Poof.
10. I can fix it! Snap. Oh what do I do now!? freeze.
11. Satu has posted 70+ times on tumblr in the last 3 days about the hotness of Mary McDonnel.
12. Unium is the delicious wine that she got for my birthday because it has an eagle on the label.
13. Because of the already want to.
14. We went to Costa Rica where Satu got scuba scars on her feet and took pictures of plants and reptiles.
15. Last year we went to Key West where we had Cuban coffee and Satu took pictures of reptiles and plants and birds.
16. Satu leaves notes for me on my mirror.
17. I once left little notes in flowers.
18. Satu took me for a drag on the carpet on Christmas and it made me laugh like a child.
19. Shane Hylleberg had the happiest basement in the world.
20. Right now, neither of us can manage to keep food in the house because we don't do well living in separate places.
21. Fatty Happenstance has just learned to sit on laps.
22. Satu has peppermint trees on the kitchen table.
23. Lately we hang out at Lucky's because they have beer, dogs and battered artichokes, but we also like Seed because it has a horses neck with a kick.
24. Neither one of us knows what we are going to be doing in three months, but we will be doing it together at long last.
I wonder what we will be doing five years from now, and where we will live. My life with Satu is so much better than I ever would have guessed life could be. I can't wait to see what's next.
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