Satu is so unique and such a blessing in my life, that I have found myself lately wondering how all of that wonderfulness could have gotten into one person? One person who is so perfect for me that I sometimes want to wake her up in the middle of the night just to see what wonderful thing she does. Would she be mad? That's terrifying, but amazing. Would she do that sleepy mumbling sigh that she does? I know she hates it, but it melts my heart. Maybe she would just turn over exposing the hotter side of her lava rock (her body temperature is always near plasma when she sleeps.)
What could Satu have been in a past life that could lead to all that muchness in one tiny body?
1. Cat. (obviously)
Satu was probably a cat in several past lives. When you think about how many cats there are in the world and how all of them get nine lives each, statistically speaking we have all probably been a cat at one time or another, but Satu, she probably absorbed the essence of cat by being several varieties of them.
a. She stalks things quietly. Yesterday she stalked me and then slowly retreated into another room. When I came out to check things out, she just slunk noiselessly away and hunkered down.
b. She keeps her emotions to herself and doesn't make sudden unpredictable moves. When she is scared, she seems the same as when she is elated. You have to learn her to know her.
c. She is patient. Satu will wait out a Christian radio play to the end just because she heard the first full line. It doesn't matter how much Jesus appears to the little boy or old man ( I don't think there are any Christian plays with women as main characters.) She sits the way a cat will sit and stare down an empty hallway until the end just to see what happens.
d. If you let her come to you, she will love you unconditionally. She knows when you need a warm body next to you and a quiet companion. She knows everything about you in fact. She has been observing the whole time.
2. A farmer
a. She is good with her hands and will devote her body to completing any task that she starts, even if it means suffering to yield a small crop. Satu has more than one story in her life about having to write with two hands or drag her left foot behind her. She doesn't ever, ever, ever give up once she has chosen to do something.
b. She's pragmatic and loyal. I imagine her talking to chickens like good friends and still being able to keep the farm in balance, making tough decisions when necessary. She's calm under pressure and doesn't shy away from what is right just because it is often harder.
c. She knows things, but they don't define her. She can make a home wherever she is and be content with what her work yields.
3. A princess or queen.
a. Right, right, I know everyone says they were probably someone extra ordinary in a past life. No one ever thinks they might have been a rice farmer (more on that next.) However, if I have ever known anyone who has the presence and poise of a queen, it's my beloved.
b. She already has a British accent, but you will never hear it unless we are watching "The Great Brittish Bake off" or some slow moving British procedural. (Satu taught me that that is what formulaic, episodic crime TV is called.)
c. She not only knows what fork to use and which plates are for decoration, but she is powerful and confident enough to eschew all of those fussy rules if you don't.
d. People seek her out. Just meeting her eyes with yours could cause your heart to stop altogether.
e. Is this a good time to confess that I have no idea what color her eyes are? I know what they look like, but... here's the problem, they aren't a color. They are a lot of colors. Also it doesn't help that my heart stops when she looks at me aaaaaaand my color identification system has been mis-loaded since birth.
4. A rice farmer.
a. Satu thinks she may have been a rice farmer in a past life. See all of the above stuff about farmers and add "unassuming and very, very patient."
b. No matter who she was, she probably had one of those pointy round rice farmer hats. She looks good in all hats, so I can't imagine any scenario in which past lives exist and Satu didn't have one of those hats in at least one life.
c. What can you say about this life except that it is really easy to imagine her speaking to all of the water birds, the fish and all lizards and snakes while she is at work. I mean, the reason this blog is about a failed Disney princess is because she speaks fluent animal.
5. A house.
a. Satu was definitely a house at some time in her past lives. If you think homes aren't alive, think again. They have a personality, style, charm and a mind of their own. Not only do you live in your home, it lives with you.
b. She had beautiful windows, but has a strained relationship with daylight. All of her windows opened to the moon and reflected the stars. She probably had ivy protecting her from the day light. Come to think of it, she was probably built someplace dreary, but provided a warm hearth for her family. I am sure it rained alot.
c. She was made of stone. It is strong, but keeps the heat in if you know how to build a fire in the heart of the home.
d. She protects the family at all cost."It doesn't matter what is going on outside, never you mind. Come. Sit by the fire, tell stories, laugh, I will protect you." she says.
6. Air.
Satu is and always has been essential to life. I didn't know it until we met, but she is what I need to be alive in this world. She carries the whispers of lovers on her breath, she fills you and keeps you afloat in stormy seas. She's infinite and dangerous and necessary. She's not blue in the day, or black at night, but she allows you to experience both. She's weightless and everywhere.
7. Satu
There is the possibility that Satu is as she always has been, complicated, flawed and perfect. One of the most obvious things about her is that she knows herself. It is easy to imagine her in other forms, but it is hard to imagine her without the essence of who she is. She doesn't totter between two poles, she is one or the other. She doesn't do things that are unlike her. She would never be a Siamese cat, a soy farmer or an unhappy home. She's the only her in the world. My home, my queen, my air. I love you.
Tuesday, January 23, 2018
Monday, January 1, 2018
Three Wise Squirrels
Why do fabled things often come in three? Three blind mice, three little pigs, three kings and three wise squirrels. Believe in them, they are real and they mark the Christmas season in our home since Satu and I have started sharing Christmas together 10 years ago. Like most of the fun, quirky things here, they were characters in my wife's story before I was, but now we are in the same story, so they are mine too.
These three wise squirrels hold gold, frankincense and myrrh. Two of those things are supposed to smell good I think, but after these years, they are kind of blankincense and mehh. When the squirrels come out, so does the whole gang.
There are two handmade cloth wise men who don't have gifts, but I like their sense of humor. During the Christmas season you can hear them on the sideboard table drinking bourbon late into the night after we've gone to bed and laughing about what the third wise man is probably up to. They tell tall tales about their escapades with the dolls and daring escapes from the cat. They think their friend probably followed the wrong star and ended up at some beach singing country songs by the water.
There are several herds of reindeer also. There is a silver heard, a black heard and a wooden and cloth heard. Oh, they manage to pose in threes during the day, but those guys leap and graze when no one is around. There is one that can't quite pull off the pose, he looks a little gimpy and drunk all the time, but he's the life of the herd every night. The cat and dog won't get off the bed once we retire for the evening because you never know where you are going to find the rowdy band of wildlife. Prey animals they are not, more like a bunch of wild teenagers. Did you know that all of the reindeer have motorcycles and spend their nights looking for the droid hang outs? Thankfully those droids are pretty quiet about their meeting places. If it weren't for the two llama always bailing them out of trouble, the whole lot of them would probably be in the petting zoo by now.
Satu and I always have some version of a tree, we both like the light that gives everything a little extra color this time of year. She puts out candy canes and icicles and sparkly things. She lights candles and hangs bells and sings to herself and to me. The deer over the fireplace gets some decoration too and so does the dog sometimes.
This home is happy all year, but especially happy with the magic of Christmas lights and fresh snow on the ground.
My beautiful wife is the spirit that keeps everything here magic. I realized today as she carefully packed up the rowdy deer and the two wise men and the squirrels that she is really the source of light in this house. I can't imagine a better story than the one she and I share. It may not be told by generations of people, but it is all that matters to me in my little life. Two little ladies, an old bug eyed dog, a hairy cat, a band of reindeer and llama, three wise squirrels, two wise men and a partridge in a pear tree.
These three wise squirrels hold gold, frankincense and myrrh. Two of those things are supposed to smell good I think, but after these years, they are kind of blankincense and mehh. When the squirrels come out, so does the whole gang.
There are two handmade cloth wise men who don't have gifts, but I like their sense of humor. During the Christmas season you can hear them on the sideboard table drinking bourbon late into the night after we've gone to bed and laughing about what the third wise man is probably up to. They tell tall tales about their escapades with the dolls and daring escapes from the cat. They think their friend probably followed the wrong star and ended up at some beach singing country songs by the water.
There are several herds of reindeer also. There is a silver heard, a black heard and a wooden and cloth heard. Oh, they manage to pose in threes during the day, but those guys leap and graze when no one is around. There is one that can't quite pull off the pose, he looks a little gimpy and drunk all the time, but he's the life of the herd every night. The cat and dog won't get off the bed once we retire for the evening because you never know where you are going to find the rowdy band of wildlife. Prey animals they are not, more like a bunch of wild teenagers. Did you know that all of the reindeer have motorcycles and spend their nights looking for the droid hang outs? Thankfully those droids are pretty quiet about their meeting places. If it weren't for the two llama always bailing them out of trouble, the whole lot of them would probably be in the petting zoo by now.
Satu and I always have some version of a tree, we both like the light that gives everything a little extra color this time of year. She puts out candy canes and icicles and sparkly things. She lights candles and hangs bells and sings to herself and to me. The deer over the fireplace gets some decoration too and so does the dog sometimes.
This home is happy all year, but especially happy with the magic of Christmas lights and fresh snow on the ground.
My beautiful wife is the spirit that keeps everything here magic. I realized today as she carefully packed up the rowdy deer and the two wise men and the squirrels that she is really the source of light in this house. I can't imagine a better story than the one she and I share. It may not be told by generations of people, but it is all that matters to me in my little life. Two little ladies, an old bug eyed dog, a hairy cat, a band of reindeer and llama, three wise squirrels, two wise men and a partridge in a pear tree.
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