I love you more than catfood

Last night I had to work late to get some things prepped at work before our vacation. When I came home at 2 in the morning, my wife was asleep. I often can't see her in the bed when we have the winter comforter on, but I know she's there because she is giving off an enormous amount of heat and the dog curls up on her for warmth.

I settled in next to my little lava rock and prepared for my nightly ritual. I like to play match three games until my brain shuts down enough to sleep. I opened my tablet and saw this:

She had tucked a little card inside my tablet. As with many things that Satu finds in the world, she adds to the image so that it's something perfectly us.

I laughed and laughed. It tickled me so much. From the hot side of the bed, little sleepy burbles of laughter erupted from under the dog and we had a good midnight chuckle. One of the things that reliably makes me laugh, no matter how many times I see it is this little GIF of a raccoon scooping up two handfuls of cat food and tottering off on his hind legs with it. My wonderful wife will often mimic this video when stealing things, or whenever she just wants a laugh out of me. 

That's the thing, our house is always full of laughter because she is one of the funniest, smartest people I've ever met. She gets the details that make a thing silly and she's not too proud to do the blue footed boobie dance with me, or run down the hall like a raccoon. It's wonderful to live like this and to laugh and hold each other in the middle of the night on any given night of the week. 

I'm not worried. It's just winter

It's that time of year. The snow blower has made its way to the batter's box and the dog is wearing a sweater (he loves it.)

As cozy as our home is though, winter brings grey days which makes me feel antsy and makes my wife listen to Patti Griffin and look at pipes online. Both embracing the melancholy while keeping it in the periphery. 

What I hope winter means this year is more days off spent together watching dumb movies and putting together complicated puzzles in front of the fire. I hope it also means some extra kisses and soft whispers in my ear. 

Lately, I work too much and so does Satu. When we do get a night together, she is achy and I am brain dead from the toxic amounts of stupidity at work. I think both of us just want a cup of warm tea and the person who knows us best nearby for comfort.

I know that when she is in the house it feels like a home and when she is out, it seems as if the whole house is waiting for her to come back and bring the soul back into the home. I don't really know how to express this sense of missing her while she is here except it is the Kyoto feeling. I feel like I miss her so much while I am at work that when we are together it reminds me of all of the time we sacrifice to the outside world. 

I hope that as the snow comes, I will get more Mondays off and we will finish our cozy basement together. I really loved it when she was down there with me playing music and envisioning our new cozy hide-a-way. Honey, take me for a drag on the new rug. I miss you. 

If Satu was an animal:

She would be a double metal dog. Loyal and steadfast, but wagging and clanking her tail ready to play when she is happy. She splits from the pack when she's not.

If Satu were a food, she would be sushi. Fresh, simple and complicated at the same time.

If she were a house, she would be a tiny, elegant log cabin on the outside with a million rooms stretching out impossibly on the inside.

If she was a drink, she would be something you have never heard of before with a warm, comforting body and a smooth finish. She would have little flecks of ice that could surprise you, cool your thirst and somehow belong in the warmest drink you've ever had.

If my wife was a number, she would be infinity.

If she was an element, of course she would be fire.

If my wife was a tool, she would be the one you are looking for no matter what you need to do. She is good at everything and can make any task easier.

If she was a day, she would be in spring. May perhaps, when everything is new and the world is full of young life.

If she was a car, she wouldn't be content until she was a spaceship.

If she was a gun, she would be the finest machine, straight and true every time.

Satu is the only one of her kind. She is not anything except who she is. It doesn't change, she's the most solid person I have ever met. She doesn't compromise and she has the heart of a lion. She has my heart too. With her, I know it is safe.