Things in our lives

Satu is a person who knows about things. She has an eye for detail and cares about all of the objects that she interacts with. When we started dating, the only things I had that I felt were related to my character were the books that I haphazardly collected and dispatched as I went through my life. I was populating my world with new things, bedspreads, couch, bar and such and I liked living with those things, but I probably would have liked any of a number of furnishings.

I like Satu's things, because they are part of the mystery of her mind and personality. For example, her things include rare bits from all over the world, yet she loves a little cedar box with horses painted against a dramatic sky seemingly as much as she likes the 15th century wooden Buddha with the snorkel on his head. Maybe not the same way, but with equal passion.

This week I have discovered that Satu has many, many stickers. She keeps them somewhere secret and seems to have one for any occasion. It is not a collection or anything, she is just a person who has stickers. The right ones at the right time. She also has the right dice for any game, the right color pen for any creation and the right other obscure thing that I don't yet know that I need.

Satu is not stingy with things, in fact, it seems like things in this home were probably out there in the world waiting to become a part of the family, and Satu knows where they belong. She put a fine leather wallet in my hand and when I liked it, she gave it to me immediately. She gave my mother a book that I am sure turned out to be one of her most prized possessions. It was as if she had known that she would come across the perfect home for it some time in her life and she knew when to let it go.

Because one of the things that we both like is lists, here is a list of things that I like and things that Satu likes and things that we both seem to like.

Things I like:

Wood that smells like wood in any capacity. I like wood to be brown and though I appreciate things that are smooth, when I think about wood as a material, I like it to be a little rough and rugged.

Anything soft and fleecy, especially if it is not a yucky color

Mechanical things like rulers and pulleys and articulating lights. I like complicated mechanical things that have lots of interacting parts especially if you can watch all the bits move.

Candles.  The small, controlled fire is really calming for me. I like candles that smell good and that cast shadows.

My dresser, because Satu got it for me and because I like the pretty blue color and the pattern of all the little shell pieces making up a smooth surface.

Things that Satu likes:

Anything clever, where a classic design is re-imagined yet somehow becomes simpler and better.

Things that are more thoughtful than they seem, like the silverware she chose with a really simple design and good weight.

Tools and other objects with good opening and closing action. I am not sure, but I imagine that nothing would irritate Satu like a trash can where the lid almost, but doesn't quite line up with the can. Fortunately, because she chose ours, we have a trash can that closes smoothly and quietly with a satisfying, understated click.

Earthy or animal like things like leather wrapping and cow skulls and smooth rocks.

Her father's old washer and dryer because they are his and because they are well made and reliable.

Things that we both like

Maps. They are so full of possibility and detail. In a map, the world looks perfect and knowable.

Bugs, frogs, lizards and all furry creatures. One of the things I like most about Satu is how curious she is about the world and how she is perfectly willing to live in it with other animals. Our interactions with animals are always worth sharing with each other because we both appreciate those chance encounters with other souls.

Brand new, sharp crayons and colored pencils.

Small secret things like the little metal pill with the hidden message in it that she gave me or the faceted hearts that make up her necklace that you may not know are hearts if you don't pay attention.


Satu does not carelessly select things that share her life, and that knowledge makes me feel really special and unique. She could have her choice of many women, yet she chose to make a life with me. I am so happy to have a home with her full of secret hiding places for stickers and marbles and cardboard battleships. I feel as if she selected me and always knew just where my heart belongs.

What it's like coming home to Satu

Satu is so small that she sinks down into the bed and gets lost in the wrinkles and shadows of the comforter. Every night I get the pleasure of discovering her like a buried treasure. If she is asleep, I can locate her from the waves of heat coming off of her body. Usually, in the winter, there will also be an animal or two curled up next to her for warmth. 

If I wake her like I have done tonight, she is fussy. She will stumble to the bathroom following the weight of her head as if it is a wrecking ball pulling the rest of her body behind it, bumping into walls and changing course. Though she may fuss a bit, she is surprisingly good-natured about being awakened and we often have our best laughs in the middle of the night. Smoove Jams!

Sometimes it feels like I have spent all day translating the foreign language of other people to finally come home and hear someone speak in my native tongue. I love the way she calls me baby or honey or any of the other little names that I have to her. 

When I come home and have to stay up for a bit, I like to come in and kiss her on her cheek or forehead while she sleeps. I like it so much that I often make a few trips in the bedroom to do it a couple of times. It is kind of thrilling like kissing a small wild animal while it sleeps. She usually makes some noises. She may think she is talking, I am not sure. It sounds like she is talking with her mouth closed. 

When I finally get to snuggle in with her, I like the feel of her heat and the soft rhythm of her breathing. I love the smell of her and just the relief that I feel being next to her and feeling safe. There is no doubt to me that I fit best in the world, where ever Satu is.