Just wait. It will be okay.

I have plenty of things that I need to write about right now. Satu is pulling out all of the girlfriend stops. She is looking adorable and fierce all of the time.

I mean seriously!! I can't even bring myself to filter this one because she is just BOMB AS HELL!

Also, she has been working almost non-stop on the art project that is for me to wear or eat or put on the wall/ bookshelf. Who knows. It is really exciting, but sometimes it means that I am not allowed in the room. I want to post all of the picture hints about this project, but I am going to wait until I can scrutinize them for new information. The nature of this thing is very mysterious. The only thing I can really be sure about is that it is probably everything.

Saturday at work I had a panic attack. It is pretty rare for me to have one during the day, but I was pretty far behind with school work and it has been really busy and stressful there, plus there are projects coming up that require money that I haven't made yet. All of this balls up in my head and turns into a panic attack with teeth and grey hair in the center. Satu came to the rescue immediately in her little grey ambulance. I imagine her speeding through traffic, cursing grandmothers and "handicrappers" on the way for driving the speed limit. "Move it nanna! My baby needs me!" She scooped me up and got me home. She just kept pushing my shoulders down from my ears and patting me on the leg until I finally started acting like a human again. 

I want to sit and write a little more about the mystery thing, the cat's crooked fuck you face and the wonderful person that my girlfriend is, but right now the hairy, toothy panic ball is a little too big. I have to divert my time to school and work, but it is not because I prefer to think about those things. I just don't want my sweet girlfriend to have to come scoop me up and drug me because I can't get my shit together. 

Just hang on baby, Better days and better posts are just around the corner. 

Before midnight

Writing down the little things in our daily lives is a way for me to remember some of the little things that keep surprising me about Satu. She likes to check in to see what has tickled me recently. I think it is her way of understanding how I see her. She is constantly surprising. For example, Saturday I brought home some Chinese food. It is not the first time I have ever done this, but it was the first time I have gotten a chance to see her collection of fortune cookie fortunes. She has a little box for them. God only knows where that lives. Inside the box are a bunch of little snack baggies full of fortunes labeled things like Huh?, doom and happy. I think the thing that strikes me most about this new thing that I have learned is not that she has been saving fortunes, but that she is able to make categories of these fairly random and disembodied phrases.
Who does this kind of thing? Only the most perfect woman in the world.

Mystery thing

Satu has a project. This is not unusual, she is usually in the process of becoming an expert on something new and creating wonderful things in our lives. She knows a lot about cigars, magic playing cards and coins among other interests that pop up daily. But right now she is full steam creating a present for me. I am excited beyond belief. It reminds me a lot of when I was a kid and I would stay up all night with my sister on Christmas eve, except Christmas eve is lasting forever and the suspense is just continuing to build.

Two nights ago, Satu thankfully was willing to answer some questions so that I could relieve some of this excitement by having a few hints about the mystery thing. She told me that she was just going to say yes to everything. I realize that this means that all the answers were meaningless, but still I FEEL like I now know some things.
Here is what I know based on the questions that I got right.
There is an involvement of glitter.
It is the size of yellow and also half the size of yellow and much smaller.
It is made of cloth, at least partially.
It is also made of paper, at least partially.
There is string, glue, paint, markers, printed things and cardboard letters.
It can be hung on the wall or from the ceiling.
It is a book.
It can fit on a bookshelf.
You can wear it.
One person can hold it in one hand or two, or two people can hold it with three hands. Mutants can also hold it with three hands.
It is portable.
If I saw it in the world, I would know what to call it.
It has a category.
It has something to do with ship flags.
It involves very tiny pixels.
It is a candle.
I want it. I inspired it.
It is everything.
It could be eaten.
It is VERY, VERY exciting.

Later when I have it either on my wall or I am wearing it or holding it with my three hands, I will post a picture of it and compare all of the things that I know about it with its real world self.